4 Critical Relationship Problems Solved

Problem #1: Jealousy

Jealousy is one of those emotions that eat you from the inside if not handled in the right manner. So, how do you manage your jealousy so that it does not affect your emotional state or your long distance relationship?

Well, the first thing to understand is that jealousy is an instinct that we humans have to protect us from losing the person we love. So, it is totally natural to feel jealous and it’s totally natural to express your jealousy too.

Now, the question is how to express jealousy in the right manner? And the simple answer to this question is that we want to be reasonable about it. We want to avoid the two extremes: ignorance and neediness.

We want to let our partner know when we feel jealous and clarify it together so that it does not “boil” inside your mind. Therefore doing that, instead of trying to repress the feeling, or become over controlling and aggressive as a result.

Now, one more thing to keep in mind is that in a healthy relationship, your partner should avoid as much as possible the situations that could make you jealous. Therefore you need to let your partner know that jealousy is not your favorite emotion, and it’s better for the relationship if she avoids potential jealousy situations.

So, do not repress your jealousy, but express it and clarify it in a calm and collected manner with your partner. But take care; jealousy can also be a symptom of you being too insecure about yourself. In this case, you need to deal first with your insecurities and then the jealousy will be diminishing as a result.

Read the full article for a more comprehensive explanation of how to deal with jealousy: Learn how to overcome jealousy

Problem #2. Constant Fight

We all know that fights and arguments are normal in a relationship. But are they normal when they happen too often and when they lead to a lot of stress and worries? …I believe not!

So, how do we deal with long distance relationship fights in a way that does not make us stressed and restless?

From my experience dealing with fights successfully is all about seeing things from a different perspective than we usually do.

It’s not a war. When we normally start an argument we see each other as two opponents that have an issue to “debate”. Therefore we get angry, maybe yell at each other, blame each other and we forget that we actually have a relationship and that we love each other.

We tend to focus on bringing the right arguments, finding excuses etc. and forget that we are actually in a relationship, and we want to be happy, both of us want that.

So the idea here is: when you’re having an argument to remember that you are both on the same side, it’s not a war, it’s your relationship and the real enemy is the conflict itself, not your partner. Thus you want to work on solving the conflict together rather than blaming each other.

Another piece of advice that I can give you is clarifying a problem or conflict when it arises.Unless is too late in the evening and you’re both tired and can’t think rationally anymore, never end a conversation without clarifying a conflict.

This is important because you don’t want to leave a conflict “in the air” and let it affect both of you for a longer period of time than necessary. As soon as a problem arises, talk it through and don’t end the conversation until you’re both on the same page and things are back to normal.

Problem #3. Fear of Infidelity

And I saved the best for the last. “I am afraid that she’ll fall for someone else!” Or “I am afraid that she’ll cheat on me, and I can’t control it!”

That’s what I hear your “little inner voice” screaming in your head any time you feel a bit insecure.

And you’re not alone. Plus it’s totally normal to feel this way when you're far away from your girlfriend. (by the way, she probably feels the same too) Now how do we deal with the fear of infidelity and how do we make sure to keep her faithful? (million dollar question)

Well from my experience, keeping a woman faithful comes down to two basic principles: “freedom of choice” and “minimizing temptation”. What do they mean?

Freedom of choice.

People tend to like doing what they are told NOT to.

What Freedom of Choice means is that you never force your girl to stay faithful, just the opposite, you give her the freedom to cheat if she feels like it, if she thinks that this what she wants.

But only as long as she takes responsibility for her actions and for the fact that your relationship will end after that. This is a powerful way of dealing with the infidelity issue because it puts the choice in her hands.

It gives her the freedom to do what she wants and does not force her to behave in a specific way.

It’s not you who keeps her from dating, sleeping with other guys, it's herself that decides not to do it because she wants to be with you.

Minimizing Temptation.

This means creating all the conditions so that infidelity would be very unlikely to happen. Would you be more likely to eat a hamburger if you were hungry and the hamburger was in front of you? Or if you had no hamburger what so ever around?

So, you want to make sure that your girlfriend avoids as much as possible putting herself in situations that could potentially lead to infidelity and/or basically creating all the conditions for infidelity NOT to happen.

Problem #4. Uncertainty

To read more about this click here: Learn to cope with uncertainty

The Only Way To Overcome Jealousy!

The Only Way To Overcome Jealousy!

Here’s the reality:  excessive jealousy is poison for a relationship. It can really turn to ashes an otherwise perfect relationship.

I’ve seen hundreds of women say:

“I love him so much, he’s the man of my dreams and I’d never cheat on him, but he’s just so jealous, I simply can’t take it anymore!” 

However the funny and also confusing thing about jealousy is that the guy, for example, tends to accuse his girlfriend of making him jealous, while his girlfriend tends to accuse him of being too crazy and insecure about himself.

So the question is – Whose fault it is?

And my answer would be – both and nobody’s.

I believe that there are 2 sources of jealousy:

1. Our partner’s behavior, and
2. Our own fears and insecurities.

My philosophy on jealousy is that our partner’s behavior is the main trigger for jealousy, while our fears and insecurities are what usually amplify and constantly revive the emotion of jealousy.

And the good news is that no matter what the source of jealousy is, it can be controlled and expressed in a healthy and non aggressive way when we understand the mechanism behind it.

Therefore, from my perspective we can approach the idea of overcoming jealousy from three key angles.

3 Keys to Overcoming Jealousy

1. First of all, creating a foundation in your relationship for jealousy to be less frequent, which I’ll call “working on your partner”.

This step includes, among other things, getting on the same page with your partner that jealousy is a natural instinct that all humans have, and that she has a certain role to play as well in how much jealous you are. Therefore, for both of you to have a happy relationship it’s important that she avoids as much as possible giving you reasons to be jealous.

2. Second of all, dealing with your own fears and insecurities, which I’ll call “working on yourself”.

Here, you want to become more self-confident through the help of the right exercises; then you want to stop comparing yourself to other men; you also want to understand human nature and the fact that your girlfriend needs to socialize with other people (yes, even with men), and that she’ll also like other guys too because we humans like and appreciate beauty in all of its forms – but this doesn’t mean that we don’t appreciate the person we have a relationship with.

3. And third of all, learning how to control the aggressive impulse of jealousy and how to express jealousy in a mature and healthy way when we feel it, which I’ll call “working on jealousy” itself.

The truth is that no matter how much we’ll work on our partner and on ourselves, there will still be times, fewer and less intense, though, when we’ll feel jealous – because it’s part of being human. And in those moments it’s important to know how to let go of jealousy. A good rule of thumb that I could give you is the following:

Question your jealousy first, before you question your partner!

When you approach the issue of overcoming jealousy from these 3 KEY angles you’ll take the green eyed jealousy monster by it’s tale and kick it out of your love life for good!

Butterflies in Your Stomach: Season 1

Many of us are familiar with the term anxiety. It is a feeling of unease, such as worry, fear or nervousness that can be mild or severe typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome such as saying yes to that handsome guy’s marital or dating proposal. Relationships are one of those situations where the variables are unpredictable. We can never know for sure what the future holds. We have many hopes, ideas, expectations of what this journey of love with another person may bring, but we can’t know or predict any of these outcomes with absolute confidence hence we express fear which often plaques our confidence to stay faithful with one lover. It is the cause of double-dating game, therefore, it is important to learn how to tolerate and cope with the foreign irritant known as uncertainty so you won’t become lost in an attempt at enforcing certainty.

The butterflies in our stomach cause us to have more than likely thought about any number of the following: “am I enough?”, “will you still love me if…?”, “what if I open up to you and you decide to leave?”, “what if I get hurt or rejected?” what if I get killed? What if you get broke or lose your job tomorrow? All of which have no definite guarantee or answer. Relationships require work, risk, and vulnerability.

You can learn to cope with uncertainty by:

1. Learning about Yourself. This is an enlightening experience that exposes you to your unique self, not a borrowed self-premised on faking a story about what you are not. In learning about yourself you become self-sufficient and confident. To learn about yourself visit our listening command center via Whatsapp 08058154652

 2. You must trust an Unknown future to a Known God that controls the unknown. His name is Jesus Christ. Never underestimate the place of prayer and moment spent with Him.

3. Focus on what you can control: anxiety pushes us to automatically put on our mental magnifying glass to search for all of the possible negative outcomes. We end up focusing on questions like “What if he or she suddenly stop liking me?”, “What if he or she leaves?”… etc, generally focusing on worst-case outcomes that leave us frightened, insecure and ultimately forces us to put on an unreal self. When you shift your focus to what you can control, you regain your power in the situation. You are no longer a helpless passenger on a rollercoaster ride; you become the driver and have the ability to accelerate, slow down or go a different route.  Things you can control in a relationship include:

·     How much you share about yourself and when (sharing too much too soon can progress things too quickly)

·         How quickly you become sexually involved. You shouldn’t even engage in pre-marital sex.

·         How much time you spend thinking about the person (constantly dwelling on hopes and expectations can rob your objectivity and your power)

·         Maintaining your own sense of self (keeping up with your own life, activities, etc.)

4. Learning how to take calculated risks: When getting to know someone it is helpful to assess the risk of opening your heart. For me, a risk assessment contains some of these questions:

·         Are they looking for commitment?

·         Do they have the same values as me?

·         Are they dependable/reliable?

·         Are they emotionally available/ present?

·         Are previous relationships still present in their life?

·         Do they respect the speed I am willing to go in the relationship?

·         Are we compatible?

If there are many negative responses to this risk assessment, I may decide that it is too risky for me to continue in the relationship. If most responses are positive but I am unsure about one or two areas then I may proceed with caution. You may assess risk differently; nevertheless, it is important not to gamble with your heart. Make sure to size up your opponent to determine what your next move should be.

5. Focusing on realistic outcomes:

I find people either have overly optimistic or overly pessimistic ideas about how a relationship will play out. We either place all of our hopes and expectations on the new relationship or sabotage ourselves by expecting the worst-case outcome. Both can be equally detrimental and have huge effects on our approach and ability to cope when things don’t go as expected. The solution is to try to take a realistic approach to relationships.

Realistically:

You won’t be compatible with everyone. Just because you aren’t compatible with someone doesn’t mean you aren’t loveable or won’t find love. Not all relationships end in disaster. Not all relationships result in marriage. Your past relationships don’t have to determine the outcome of your future relationships.

Please share to bless a soul 

It's Dead

Your past hurts, and broken relationships do not have the right to thrive in your present.

Expensive Wedding Yet Married To The Wrong Person

Expensive Wedding yet Married To the Wrong Person}

Gen 29:11: And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept.

Jacob was in the well when he first saw Rachael. The first time Jacob met Rachael, he wept. Why? Jacob saw in Rachel what Adam saw, ‘Bone of his Bones’, ‘flesh of his flesh’, his perfect match from heaven. Jacob loved Rachel thus he decided to serve 7 years for her. After the 7 years Jacob asks Laban to give her Rachael but in the evening Laban brought Leah to Jacob and, without knowing its Leah, he went into her. In the morning, Jacob woke up to find that it is Leah he has married. He realized he has got the wrong woman, the wrong spouse.

It’s so disheartening when your morning comes only to find that you married the wrong person so to say after having a flamboyant wedding. The next day divorce will start ringing on your head like the early morning bird chirping near the window. Perhaps your sudden discovery of being married to the wrong person may have been occasioned by unattended misunderstanding that has resulted to multiple problems. And at this time you’ve more than likely thought about any number of the following:
What if I married one of my ex’s instead of my spouse?  What would life be like with a working class? What if I had married someone with more of the same recreational interests as me? If only I hadn’t felt pressure from my family to get married. If only I hadn’t gotten married so young. If only I hadn’t gotten my wife pregnant, I could have left her. If only I haven’t gotten pregnant, I could have left him. If only my spouse gave me compliments the way other men or women do. If only my spouse had more of a sex drive. If only I had married someone who was more attractive. If only I had married someone who kept themselves in better shape. If only I was single so I could flirt with and pursue this other man or woman.  If only I was single so I could manage my house, schedule, and finances the way I want. If only I had listened to my friend. The list could go on and on.

The truth is that none of these thoughts you are having are real!  Each one is a fantasy, a false reality.  Each time you ask those questions, you are only depriving your actual reality of much needed attention and investment. And even if you acted on one of your fantasies, making it actually real, it would come with deadly consequences and pain. Acting on these questions is acting as if time travel is real.

The deception beneath all these fantasies is we allowed our challenges to cast fear in our heart which eventually forces us to be convinced we married the wrong person.  The truth we must realize is that marriage is not about marrying the right person, it is about being the right person.
Drs. John and Julie Gottman say when you choose whom you will marry, you are choosing the set of perpetual problems you want to deal with for the next 50 years. You could have an affair or get divorced and marry someone else and you’d simply be marrying a different set of perpetual problems.

Marital challenges are as much a part of marriage as wedding rings and anniversaries are. When we say we married the wrong person, we are only saying that because we finally discovered our spouse couldn’t give us what only Jesus can! There is no such thing as marrying the wrong person.  There is only marrying the person you married!  Love them and invest in them. And when it feels like you’ve married the wrong person, convince yourself of the Love that binds you both. That husband or wife you have awakened to realize she/he is the wrong person you married, the time you married her/him God approved it as your perfect heavenly husband or wife. This is because the two of you have become one flesh and God looks at the two of you and says, ‘perfect’.

The Marriage of Jacob to supposed wrong wife (Leah) gave birth to Judah from whom came Jesus. Even when Jacob died he asked to be buried near Leah (the supposed wrong wife) instead of Rachael. Something good can still be seen in Nazareth.

Nevertheless there are marriages that are doomed and no matter what happens, it will end and never be healed. On the other hand, for many years I’ve seen the healing of marriages that seemingly everyone else has given up on.
Good people sometimes do really stupid things. However, if at heart they are good people, it therefore means they are worth rescuing. It’s your choice, of course, and you can either save your marriage or let it go. Or, if he or she is a good person involved in a bad situation, you can fight to save your marriage. Our experience is that if a good person gets straightened out, not only can the marriage be saved, but it can be stronger and more loving than it was before.

Embrace your marriage, honour and love your spouse despite imperfections. The grass is not greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it. Spice up your love story.


Maybe you are in an abusive relationship and have tried all means necessary to restoring your love story and it is not working, feel free to drop your comment and have the privilege of talking with Edgar T.A. He will assist you on what to do. Your Peace is his concern.

You can connect with our Listenning Command Center via Whatsapp +2348058454652

SOUL TIE is a FALSE THEORY

The theory of soul tie is unfounded and has no biblical backing. It’s an overly complex human theory that was fabricated through ignorance and has lingered for years. We have believed and lived a lie that has held us captive for long even till now. Some have even gone for deliverance because they are made to believe that they under the influence of some kind of mystical bond called soul tie. Some also have remained in an ungodly relationship under the guise that their soul is entwined.

The phrase soul tie is a man-made idea which some teachers superimpose onto scripture in an attempt to explain certain human behaviours.

Soul ties are said to be a mystical bond, the binding of souls between at least two people, a concept that has no bases in scripture.

False teachers point to passages like 1Samuel 18:1, which says David’s soul was “knit” to Jonathan’s soul, or 1Corinthians 6:16, which commands believers not to engage in sexual sin, to support their improper interpretation. They claim these passages are examples of knitting souls together, but their claim is not supported by a proper interpretation of the text. Rather, this is a classic case of false teaching distorting the true meaning of scripture to promulgate strange myths built upon speculation (see 1Tim 1:4).

In the case of David and Jonathan, Jonathan felt great affection and admiration for David, recognizing him to be the future king of Israel (his soul was “knit” to David) is simply a way of expressing Jonathan’s total commitment to, and deep friendship with David. It is a lifelong earthly bond, not a spiritual bond. In the case of 1Corinthians 6:16 Paul warns believers not to become “one-flesh” with prostitutes through an act of sexual immorality. Notice Paul’s concern was that of becoming one flesh, not one soul. He was describing the life-long bond of marriage, not a special spiritual union.

The Bible does not allow for the existence of a "soul tie." Genesis 2:24 says that a married couple becomes "one flesh," not one soul. Jesus said that there is no marriage in heaven (Matthew 22:30), which would not be the case if people were joined in their souls.

There are two scenarios I want to describe that paints the picture of soul tie but not necessarily mean their soul is tied.

1. The closer two people are, the more they get used to and develop an addiction to the hormones the other naturally emits. Dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin all combine to make us "emotionally connected. God allowed this so that married couples develop even closer relationships. It doesn't mean their soul are tied in some kind of mystical bond.

2. psychological obsession. Romantic obsessions are based on what we think of the other person. This does not necessarily have anything to do with reality, and it's foolish to expect someone to be what we want them to be rather than who they are.

A close relationship can feel like a "soul tie." But even the closest relationship based on personality and mutual love does not mean the two souls are entwined. Sometimes the concept of "soul ties" is used as an excuse to indulge in an ungodly obsession. Feeling like your soul is tied is not an excuse to stay in a relationship that is unbiblical. And it is not some insurmountable force that constrains us to sin. It's just an excuse to stay in sin. Instead of using "soul ties" as a rationalization, we should deal with the sin (1 John 1:9).

The Bible teaches that a believer's soul is united with Christ alone and with no one else. Not even in marriage do we unite spiritually with another person. Marriage unites a husband and wife in flesh only until the death of the body according to Romans 7. Our soul is Christ’s alone.  All other relationships, no matter how close, are a combination of physiological response to chemicals, mutual interest, natural affinity, or sinful obsession.

-Edgar T.A

facebook page: Amazing Love Rhapsody

fb.com/amazingloverhapsody

Sources: versebyverseministry.org, compellingtruth.org

7 Horrific Reasons Not To Let People Kiss Your Baby

Babies come out with tiny rosebud lips that look like they are just waiting to be kissed. In fact, an infant face feels like an invitation to smooch. While affection is absolutely essential for the proper development of children, parents need to rethink letting just anyone kiss their children. In fact, they may want to rethink letting anyone kiss the baby on the mouth.

Parents are obviously going to resist strangers from off the street trying to kiss their babies, but the threat may lurk closer to home. Visitors, like family members and close friends, may feel that kissing a baby is just a way to show affection. Unfortunately, it can also be a way to spread germs that can prove fatal for infants. And this is completely 100% avoidable.

Even parents can carry germs that can be dangerous for a baby, and our kisses also have the potential to cause cavities and encourage other siblings to mimic our behavior. There are plenty of ways to let our babies know we love them, but one of the best ways to support the health of our children may be to have a no-kissing policy.

This may sound extreme, and many parents may just make it a no-kissing-baby-on-the-lips policy. However, it's important to put some rules and guidelines in place because the following problems on this list are real. Though we would never intentionally hurt our children, not knowing what the saliva coming from other people can do to them means we may inadvertently cause them harm.

 1.  DANGEROUS COLD SORES

A Facebook post went viral after a mom saw what could happen when an adult kisses a child on the mouth. Her child ended up with the Herpes Simplex Virus(HSV), in this case HSV-1, the type that is associated with cold sores.

Noticing the signs early helped this mom get her child to the hospital in time, but the child was in the hospital for days with the virus spreading across her body. Her young age meant her immune system couldn't fight the virus, and that's why herpes can be fatal for babies.

Though an adult should be able to recognize a cold sore and make the decision not to kiss others while it's present, it's best for parents to make a no-kissing-the-baby-on-the-face rule to avoid this fate. Given the severity of this case, it's not an extreme request.

 2.  CHEMICALS IN MAKEUP AND SKIN CARE PRODUCTS

Both men and women put a multitude of chemicals on their faces daily to try to stay young, look fresh, and hide their true faces. Though we've known for some time that the chemicals in these products aren't usually of the best quality, it hasn't stopped many people from continuing to use them.

These productsoften contain formaldehyde, parabens, and artificial colors, and that's just a start. Some have been recognized as endocrine interrupters, and others are associated with cancer risks. Though it's not a good idea for any of us to come into contact with these, it's extremely bad for babies.

By asking people not to kiss our babies on their faces, we can limit our children's exposure to toxic chemicals contained in makeup, moisturizers, and other products. Its' a small step, but it is something. 

3.THE KISSING DISEASE

Mononucleosis is nicknamed the kissing disease because it can be passed through saliva, a common component in kissing. Many people believe infants are immune to mono since they consider it a disease for teenagers who are making out with their significant others. However, infants can get mono.

The good news is this is one of the rare conditions that may be easier on infants than teenagers and adults. When infants contract mono, the condition may just result in a child having a runny nose and being cranky. It can lead to upper respiratory issues, but in infants those are usually also mild.

The problem is there is no treatment for mono since it is viral, so an infant will be forced to suffer through not feeling well until the infection clears up on its own. Plus, since this condition is extremely contagious, babies can pass it on to other people in the house. That means the mild virus can turn into a full-fledged nightmare for adults and older kids who catch it. 

4. CAVITY CAUSING KISSES

We may tell children that they develop cavities because they don't brush and floss their teeth. While this is true, it's not the whole story. Children can also develop cavities because we kiss them.

Dentists are warning parents that their saliva can carry a bacteria known for causing cavities. When we kiss our children on the mouths, we may be passing Streptococcus mutans. When our children receive this bacteria from us, cavities can develop in their tiny teeth, and these are usually found at their first dentist appointments.

Sharing food with our children can have the same effect since it is a way we pass saliva to our children, but kissing seems to be the most direct way we unintentionally share our germs. No adult or child should kiss a child on the mouth, and it's a good idea to make sure when we blow on food to cool it off for kids that we don't spray saliva on it as well. 

5. WEAKENED IMMUNE SYSTEMS

Babies' immune systems are pretty much non-existent for their first several months on earth. Gut bacteria are still being established, and though breastfeeding and probiotics can help build a baby's immunity, they can still be easily compromised in those early months.

Because of this, any adult who comes into contact with the baby needs to make sure they wash their hands. If they have even a small sign of illness, they should also avoid visiting a newborn. With these two precautions in place, babies can hopefully avoid issues. However, if an adult then comes in and kisses a baby's face, they are sharing germs that mom and dad just asked them to wash off their hands.

What may appear as a cold or mild irritant for adults can turn into full-blown illness in a baby. That's why having a no kissing policy makes so much sense. Even adults don't always know they are falling ill until after the fact, and that means our babies, who are already working with little to no immune system, may be exposed to germs they can't fight. 

6. HORRIBLE STOMACH VIRUSES

There is nothing more pitiful to watch than a baby with a stomach virus. Watching them vomit and have diarrhea while miserable from stomach pain is almost unbearable for parents. Stomach viruses are usually extremely contagious, so one kiss from an adult who is carrying the virus is all it takes to put a child in harm's way.

Besides being miserable for children, stomach viruses are dangerous for infants. Due to the loss of so many bodily fluids, babies can dehydrate quickly. Dehydration lands infants in the hospital receiving an IV to keep fluids flowing through their bodies.

Even a mom who breastfeeds can't always keep her child from dehydrating because babies will often just vomit up whatever hits their stomachs when ill. That's why anyone who visits the baby should be days away from any virus they had, and they should still refrain from kissing the baby's face. 

7. LITTLE KIDS WILL MIMIC GROWN UP BEHAVIOR

Many babies are born into families where older siblings await. Those older siblings take their cues from the adults in their lives, so if they see people kissing the baby on the lips or all over the face, they will likely join in.

While siblings showing affection is cute, it can also be toxic. Older siblings go out into the world to preschool and public school, and they come into contact with germs. Germs aren't bad, and exposure can help a child's immune system grow. However, infants are still building their immune systems. That's why a child just a couple of years older can handle an illness without much trouble, but an infant may be killed by the same germ.

Talk to kids about not touching or kissing their little siblings faces, then set an example by asking adults to follow the same rule.

Sources: Verywell.com, NBCnews.com, Huffingtonpost.com, Dailytelegraph.com.au

EdgarTa.ga: When Two Girls Fights Over a Guy (Competing For A ...

EdgarTa.ga: When Two Girls Fights Over a Guy (Competing For A ...: "When Two Girls Fights Over a Guy" (Competing For a Spot). Our girls have been raised in a society where having a guy equates t...

When Two Girls Fights Over a Guy (Competing For A Spot).

"When Two Girls Fights Over a Guy"
(Competing For a Spot).

Our girls have been raised in a society where having a guy equates to having honour, shelter, food, clothing and respectability. So most girls tends to fight other girls over their guys because they fear to lose their source of income, they fear to stay hungry, naked, ashamed, and being bullied by friends thereby failing to understanding that they can succeed on their own. They feel that their inherent value and pride is premised on being found desirable by a guy.

I find it irksome when the female folks who have the potential and God's given ability to accomplish whatever they want in life believes their accomplishments in life is just by getting a man to provide all the things they need and this dependency makes them vulnerable to abuse from their benefactor (man)

Guys in a position like this can often get carried away with the kind of power that comes with being the object of desire from two girls. That kind of attention from two girls can be so intoxicating that he simply finds it harder and harder to let go of it.

He knows that if he were to make a decision on which girl to choose finally in the end, he would essentially lose one of the girls or both. If he loses girl 'A' based on his decision, he would lose the attention that he has gotten so used to receiving from that girl. A number of guys, out of fear of losing this attention will typically just stay in indecision until their hand is either seriously forced or someone other than the two girls that he has been indecisive about comes along to wrest their attention.

So many girls are 6feet down now because of unnecessary struggle and competition over a guy who in himself unsure of what he really wants. If the guy really loves you he wouldn't have been open to another girl's advances. You may fight and still lose him. It's OK to fight for your guy but don't fight over him. If you must fight,  fight on your knees.

Three things are involved when girls fight over a guy.  1. They don't want to feel like a loser which is an indication of low self awareness. 2. They want to prove to the guy they love him... Fighting over a guy is not a proof of love but a proof of dependency on him.  3. They want to be preferred by the guy by all means which is an indication of lack of self love and appreciation. The guy does not deserve you if he doesn't prefer you to the other girls but most girls believe that there's a "shortage of man", because they also believe man represent roof over their head,  clothes in their body,  human hair on their head, food in their belly... therefore, trying to hold on tight to the one worthless big headed guy they got instead of letting him go and move on to the next one.

Don't drink bitter pill over it, love is not a struggle. Until you stop following the culture of looking up to man for your survival violence against your rival over a guy will remain a vicious cycle.

Realign your desires and keep your heart in shape.

Edgar T. A

(Fix Your Love Story) 

No one can love, respect you better, and treat you right more than your wife if you keep speaking her language. There is no need getting married if you were not ready to be a husband. You remembered that first day you met her, you said sweet words to her that broke her wings, you showed her so much love and was always calling to check up on her. On that cool evening when she finally said yes to your proposal, she gave you a warm hug of acceptance that sent chills up your spine, took your breath away and your heart flew high, on gossamer wings through a cloudless sky and for a moment you felt like you were in cloud 9. Your face became the only face she saw in the midst of the crowd. You loved the feeling, didn't you? You got that sweet feeling from her because you actually asked for it by speaking her language. It was your choice when you asked her to marry you and she agreed believing that you are mentally and psychologically fit to keep speaking her language so she could manifest more of those beautiful side of hers you saw the day she said yes to you. Can you recall the last time you spoke those beautiful words to her again?  Can you recall the last time you chatted and romance over the phone? Can you recall the last time you took her for shopping? Oh! You can't remember! I'm sure you are thinking now. Obviously you can now see the picture where your love story started collecting dust.

At the beginning your excitement almost palpable, you share vivid details about the sweet moments that changed your lives forever. You constantly echo that scenario that has been the basis for romantic books and movies across centuries "Our eyes met across a crowded room and I just knew," but now the once vividly detailed love story  you built your relationship on has suffered shipwreck.

At the beginning of a relationship, we hold a clean slate, containing no mistakes. We set out to be the loving person we tell ourselves we should be, crafting the flawless masterpieces that will become our lives. But, because we are human, we inevitably fall short of some of the expectations we have set for ourselves. As a result, we start by forging a new story from different album. The voices that tell these emerging new stories come from all kinds of places such as loved ones, parents, teachers, bosses, friends, institutions, etc. Some of these voices are condescending, and destructive.

It’s worthy of note that many of these voices are not your own, but you end up embracing them as yours. Eventually you begin to notice the boisterous conversations and broad smiles of other people around you as evidence that they are living a life much better than yours, thinking that everyone else is doing better than you. You begin to focus on your limitations, feeling like the deck is so stacked against you that you would never catch up.

What story are you telling yourself now? 'there is no joy in my relationship, I'm not sure it can get any better, he/she is so unloving n uncaring' And to the single guys, what story are you telling yourselves?  Is it the same old story of how you were heartbroken? How nobody is recognising your beauty again and you don't see yourself getting a loving relationship. God does not fix our love story, it is the story we tell ourselves that creates our reality.

The first place to begin is to identify the poor story you are telling yourself now and challenge them.

If I could get at least a 100 share and a 100 yes to this post,  I will share with you how to fix your lovestory that will bring about the miracle of love you long expected. If this miracle doesn't happen within 30days then stop following this page.

Thanks for reading. Love You dearly!

-Edgar T. A
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